I’m at my local library, it’s within walking distance of my house and it’s gorgeous.
I would just like to state for the record that my absence has been deliberate.
I’ve had a lot to think about.
And I think we need to talk…
I haven’t been blogging lately because I began feeling uncomfortable with idea of continuing to broadcast the various aspects of my life over the internet. When this project started, I had no idea that it would become nearly as popular as it did. I also had no idea where my life was heading either. But now that I do have a better sense of the path that lies ahead of me…
…I don’t see BIORIO being a part of it.
I feel like I’m breaking up with someone right now.
I just need you all to know that this is not the end.
I’ve gotten very close with my supervisor at work and I recently mentioned to her that I was planning on discontinuing this project and although she has never read it, she urged me to reconsider. But by that point, I had already made up my mind.
It’s just time to finish this chapter of my story. I have a feeling that I will eventually return to the blogging world but things will be different. Right now I need to focus on my career, my community, my family, and my future. I plan to keep writing in the interim. I want to finish the manuscript of the memoir I started working on in college.
If it wasn’t for BIORIO…
I wouldn’t have had an almost two year long email exchange with a young woman living halfway across the United States because we fell in love with the same book. Amanda found my blog through a Google Alert and within weeks, we became close friends. Amanda is one of the few people that knows things about me that no other person does. To this day, despite the fact that we talk significantly less now (our lives have just taken us in different directions), I will always consider her one of my closest friends.
I have loved every moment I dedicated to this blog. The opportunities this blog gave me extend so much farther than just writing creatively and sharing my story.
The greatest thing this blog gave me is the reason it was so hard for me to gather up the nerve to write this.
Because when this was at it’s prime, for a period of time I was probably in the absolute darkest place a person could be in.
And for about three months when I was at my lowest point, I often thought to myself.
“I cannot give up now, I will not let it end like this for them.”
And by them, I meant my readers, the BIORIOans.
There’s no doubt in my mind
that this blog was a factor in reasons why should keep living regardless of the immense pain I was in a few years ago.
And I want to thank you.
I am eternally grateful for all of the support and encouragement I received from my readers throughout this projects’s life. And the best way I know how to repay you all for everything you’ve helped me through, is to continue to give back to my community, to listen, support, and care for others. BIORIO was a force that kept me from being engulfed into a black hole of isolation, pain and inevitable death and carried me into the range of community, relief, healing and– above all else– life.
I will leave you with this…
I know that I’ve posted this quote from V For Vendetta on here before but it holds so much within it that it’s worth posting again:
I hope that whoever you are, you escape this place. I hope that the worlds turns, and that things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you.
I will never forget the journey we’ve been on together, but now it’s time for us to part.
Thank you for sharing this part of my life with me. I just can’t say it enough.
Peace, friends until we meet again.